I have seen babies do horrible things.
For example, babies ruined the home of two of my professors. It had been such a lovely home - spacious, tastefully decorated, with a wide backyard, several rooms devoted to their varied hobbies, and a kitchen from which they served delicious, time-intensive meals.
And then their children came along. In addition to robbing Prof Couple of sleep and productivity, the children ransacked their goddamned house.
Open spaces? Filled with toys.
Decorations? Crayoned, gnawed upon, drooled over, broken or simply moved out of harm's way.
Backyard? Filled with toys long since claimed by the dogs in one way or another.
Hobby rooms? FILLED WITH TOYS.
Hobbies? Dead.
Kitchen? Where once was an ornamental faux avocado, now is encrusted something sticky and purple, and it has been there for no less than three weeks.
Relaxing meals? Ha! There is an abandoned yogurt cup on the table, spoon still in place from when its wielder left mid-bite.
Two of our friends just had a child. We have visited. I held the newborn lad. It was horrifying. He was small and breakable and liked to squirm.
He has also sapped the strength and energy from our friends. Every waking moment is spent dealing with a creature who is utterly dependent on them. I have only been present for this grueling activity in stretches of an hour or so (and never at 3 o'clock in the friggin' morning) and I was exhausted by the end of it.
So the Wife and I are having them over for dinner tomorrow, along with some of our mutual friends. The child will, of course, be in tow, but we wanted to give them something: a few hours beyond the confines of their own home, albeit still shackled to a mewling beast, but with the added comfort of new walls to look at, and food to eat that they didn't have to cook.
They are small tokens, but I imagine they will be welcome.
Oh, babies...
4 comments:
LOL! And there is so much more destruction, on a variety of levels. BUT. If they're yours, it's not so horrifying, somehow. I don't understand WHY, exactly...maybe it's chemical and necessary for the biological imperative or something.
Or magic.
This morning, The Girl asked, "Mama, is it HARD to have kids." I first had to get clarity on how she was using the word "have"-- birthing? caring for? She meant the latter.
I confessed that it was sort of hard because there is often a lot to do, and I can't just do whatever I want. But I told her that it's totally worth it an I'm much happier having kids.
Maybe I should just read her your post in order to help her with perspective.
Ink - Everyone keeps saying this. "Oh, when they're yours, you won't even care!" It must be true, I can't deny it. But that means that my brain will have to be rewired, which I'm not really looking foreward to.
GEW - People seem to love their children, by and large! I am flabbergasted by this phenomenon, yet it must work because people keep procreating and looking after their spawn.
Maybe one day, I will know of this joy. Perhaps.
Hark, I was never really a kid person, myself. Hated babysitting, did not know how to talk to children, etc. Hubby, on the other hand, has always loved kids and been good with them.
But I've really come around, and it was nice to have a couple of years getting to know the kid before we had to have conversations. I'm trying to think if I felt the brain re-wiring as it occurred. Must have happened during the post-labor, sleep-deprived fog.
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